Workforce Rewrite
by allie34
Summary: JC. The crew are captured and their memories altered to forget their lives on Voyager to become part of the workforce of an alien planet. Whilst on the planet Chakotay and Janeway discover feelings for one another which on Voyager they had denied.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Voyager and its characters are property of Paramount, as is the episode Workforce.

**Workforce Rewrite**

Summary:

The crew are captured and their memories altered to forget their lives on Voyager to become part of the workforce of an alien planet. Whilst on the planet Chakotay and Janeway discover feelings for one another which on Voyager they had denied.

Note:

This is a rewrite of Workforce and has basically replaced Jaffen with Chakotay, which in my opinion would have been a much more interesting episode. I've tried to keep it in line with how an episode might have panned out (although perhaps a little more explicit) including the ending, so let me know how convincing it is!

Anyway, not much more to say, erm... except that I've avoided bad language, but there are adult themes so this might be unsuitable for some younger readers. Enjoy!

_**Chapter 1**_

Stood at the station he had been assigned, Chakotay found himself distracted from his work as a quiet but urgent alarm began to sound on a console a short way across from him. Leaning round his station for a better view of what was going on, he noticed one of the female workers tapping away frantically at buttons on the console, before seemingly giving up on her attempt… he raised an eyebrow as he witnessed the woman begin to talk to the equipment. Thinking that she may require some assistance, he automatically began to cross over the short space to where she was stood, but he hadn't taken two steps before he watched as she straightened up, squared her shoulders, and tapped in a command to the computer with such authority he wasn't sure if the alarm muted from receiving the correct sequential input or out of fear of non-compliance. Neither would have surprised him he decided as he continued his approach, and was able to see the determined and yet relieved look on her face.

"You almost started a core overload," he noted, coming up from her side and causing her head to snap in his direction in surprise of having been observed.

"I corrected it," she replied, almost defensively.

Chakotay smiled easily with the intention of putting her more at ease, "by talking to the machine?"

She rolled her eyes, "it's an old habit."

"Does it work?"

He found her narrowing her eyes at him ever so slightly, as if trying to decide the intent of his question, then she shot him a guilty smirk for having been caught talking to the console. She shook her head, "I'm not sure the control panel and I speak the same language just yet."

Chakotay grinned, taking a moment to subtly study the woman before him. She was the same species as himself, which he hadn't known before his approach, but now he was in closer proximity to her he could appreciate her subtle yet stunning attractiveness, the paler complexion of her skin compared to his, her auburn hair and dazzling blue eyes, and finally her flirtatious smile as she realised his examination of her. "You're new here?" he asked.

She nodded, "it's my first day."

"Then you're in good company; I only started here yesterday."

Rolling her eyes she looked at him with something close to desperation, "then please tell me I'm not the only one having disagreements with my machine?"

Although wanting to agree, he didn't want to lie, instead he tugged at his ear a little sheepishly, "I think it might be just the two of you to be honest." She took his admission with good humour, "I'm Chakotay by the way."

"Kathryn," she introduced herself.

"I work just over there," he pointed over to his own station, "so if the two of you require any mediation… I'll be close by."

Her smile widened, "I appreciate the offer."

Opening his mouth he found himself interrupted by the voice of another woman, "this station does not require two operators." They both turned to see a blonde worker with metal blemishes on her skin marching towards them, and looking less than pleased at having caught them not working.

"I'm sorry," Chakotay immediately apologised, "there was a problem, I just came over to investigate."

The woman barely acknowledge his excuse as she glanced down at the padd she held, "employees 8559 and 8584," she read off their numbers from the profiles displayed before her, "since you're both new here, you may not be familiar with the labour protocols, however you should be aware that fraternising is not permitted during work hours."

"What's your position here?" Chakotay pressed, annoyed by the interruption.

"I'm the efficiency monitor," she stated.

He raised an eyebrow defiantly, however he noticed Kathryn physically retreat somewhat, as if recognising the other worker's authority over them, "we weren't fraternising," she defended their conversation, "and he was just leaving."

The efficiency monitor hesitated, but thinking that she had made her point clear, she realised that to linger would be inefficient. Noticing another worker shirking out of the corner of her eye, with nothing more than a curt nod of her head, she left the two of them alone.

"I thought we were fraternising," Chakotay commented as soon as the efficiency monitor was out of ear shot.

Kathryn laughed lightly at his words, but decided not to indulge him as she attempted to turn back to the work before she was caught out again.

"I heard some of the other workers talking about a bar near here earlier, perhaps you'd consider joining me after our shifts to get acquainted?"

Kathryn hesitated, torn between a desire to keep a professional stance with her colleagues and the appeal of his offer. Glancing over the strange tattoo on his forehead, and then looking up into his deep brown eyes she felt herself momentarily transfixed by the man before her. Finally, reasoning that perhaps she could use a friend she gave in, "I finish in a couple of hours."

Then suddenly two gorgeous dimples appeared on his face as his grin widened, "I'll see you later then," he said shooting her one final dispelling smile, before walking back to his own station and returning to work.

V

As promised Kathryn had found Chakotay waiting for her at the shift turn-around to escort her to the bar. Although during the rest of her shift she had considered many excuses to get out of what was more apparently becoming a date, when she had seen him standing near the exit, and his smile had widened to reveal those dimples again, any resistance that had been building to that evening melted away, and she decided to allow herself to enjoy whatever that night turned out to be.

What she hadn't banked on however was how much she truly did enjoy his company, and not just because he was dashingly handsome and charming, but also because something between them seemed to click. It was almost like they had known each other for years as they chatted away over dinner, talked about their work place, colleagues, the efficiency monitor and the city which was also new to them both. The banter between them felt natural, as did it to share a couple of drinks with him after they'd eaten, and to then accept his offer of a late night walk to explore their surroundings.

"So you never mentioned where you're from?" Chakotay said as they walked through the deserted city, accompanied by only the street lights to combat the darkening sky.

"Earth," she told him, "yourself?"

"I'm from a planet called Dorvan," he replied, "but obviously my family originated on Earth."

She looked up at him, having to lean back slightly, as with her arm looped through his, they walked very closely together, "it's strange that we're the same species, but have come from such far away places and then managed to end up here, together."

Chakotay glanced across at her, gracing her with a small smile, "it's not so strange," he offered, "perhaps it's fate."

Chuckling lightly at his very obvious attempt at a romantic cliché, any response either of them had been about to make was cut short as two security officers came by and reminded them of the impending curfew. "It's okay," Chakotay said, wanting to be rid of them quickly, "we both live across in this block."

The moment the two men were gone the couple continued with their meandering, Chakotay only glancing over his shoulder to ensure that the officers believed his excuse and were paying them no further attention.

"I can't believe you've kept me up so late," Kathryn lightly scolded him as the two security officers had reminded her of the passing of time.

"I'm sorry," but his genuine smile belittled his apology, "I suppose I lost track of time."

She hesitated a moment before replying, "me too."

This time Chakotay paused, although he didn't want their night to end so soon, he was reluctant to push her to stay up with him any longer as he worried that he might scare her off. However, when he turned to meet her gaze and found a smouldering desire in the blue depths of her eyes, he realised that there was little chance of that happening, so decided to take a small risk. "My block really is just round the corner," he said at last, "I have a wonderful view of the river from my living quarters if you'd like to join me for a night cap." Kathryn looked suddenly hesitant, and he felt her pull away from him slightly at the suggestion, "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he said quickly, wanting to rectify the situation and resolve their easy tone.

"You didn't," she assured him softly, then grumbled with a short and exhausted laugh, "but I really need to be getting some sleep, I have an early start tomorrow."

Chakotay considered telling her that sleep was what he had in mind… eventually. He could explain the magnetism he felt for the woman beside him because her beauty and charisma were easily evident, however the protectiveness he felt for her and how natural and right it was to be close to her was something he was at a loss to understand. He'd had his share of flings, had bedded women on first dates before, and although he was confident that he could do the same with her, he didn't want to. What he realised he wanted from her as he met her intense blue eyes with his brown, was something more meaningful, solid and emotional. "Another time perhaps?" he asked hopefully.

Much to his relief she shot him a knowing smile and nodded, "I hope so," she said, and he realised her invitation for him to pursue her, one which he was keen to accept.

V

Over a week had gone by and Kathryn had found herself becoming fast friends with Chakotay. She didn't know what it was that made it so easy for her to be with him, to eat dinner with him as if she had never eaten a meal without him, and to chat with him endlessly into the late hours of the evening afterwards, but whatever it was, she was determined to allow herself to explore it. After having had him cook her a string of meals at his apartment, she had finally convinced him to spend the evening at hers so that she could cook for him.

She had only considered that the invitation was probably a mistake several minutes after he had arrived, as she had gone to check on the dinner only to find that it had been over cooked. As she flustered about the kitchen, opening the window and turning on the fan to vent the smoke which was quickly filling the room from the oven door, she didn't realise him standing watching her until she heard soft laughing coming from when he stood.

Kathryn turned to shoot him a glare, before he jumped into action and began to assist in her attempts to clear the smoke before the alarm sounded.

"Is this an Earth way of cooking that I'm unaccustomed to?" he asked with mirth held clearly in his expression when they'd got the situation under control.

She rolled her eyes at his joke, unable to see the funny side whilst the failure of her cooking attempt still hung close over her head. "Not exactly," she said, hands on hips as she considered her next actions.

Chakotay stood looking over the burnt remains sat in the casserole dish, and lifting a fork began to prod at it, "we could probably cut away the charcoal," he suggested, rather unhelpfully with a low chuckle.

"Well," she said, sounding like she had a plan. He turned to face her, "I promised you dinner, so I'll just have to take you out."

Kathryn began to move off with the intention of grabbing their jackets, but she found herself rooted to the spot and looked down to see her elbow in his loose yet firm grip. Moving her eyes up further to meet his, she was struck by the sudden desire she found lingering there. He took a couple of slow and deliberate steps towards her, never releasing his grip as he closed the gap between them. She realised that his actions indicated his willingness for her to pull back if she wanted to, but to her surprise she found she didn't want to.

"Dinner can wait," he told her, with such a low and seductive growl she was momentarily mesmerised.

Placing a hand on his chest was an action which came to her automatically, and whilst it signalled for him to back off, she realised as she did it that that was the last thing she wanted him to do. Slowly, she moved her palm up to his shoulder before lifting her hand completely to place her fingers to his forehead, delicately tracing the lines of his tattoo with her fingertips whilst his confused frown lifted into confused wonder. They were both thinking the same thing, that somehow, for what ever reason, this felt like the right thing to do, and any resistance would only prolong the inevitable.

He lowered his lips to hers, sending shivers down her spine as she eagerly responded. Although in the short time since they had met they had both sensed that it was leading to this moment, when it did happen, the only regretful thought was why they hadn't bridged that gap sooner.

Everywhere he touched her, she felt sparks of electricity, his hands at first placed delicately above her hips, but then gaining confidence to explore her back and snake up her side. Kathryn acted with a vigour and carelessness she'd never known herself to poses as she moved the arms she had wrapped around his neck and pushed him against the door frame, undoing his shirt buttons with haste and skill without having to break contact with his lips.

Chakotay allowed her to lead, repressing his strong desire to have her there and then, and even as she took him into the bedroom he forced himself to remain on her terms, to discontinue if at any point he sensed that it wasn't what she wanted. When they reached the side of her bed he finally pulled back a little from her, forcing her to stop, an uncertain look clouding her eyes as he took time to study her in the soft moonlight.

Without her heels, which she had kicked off when entering the bedroom, he noticed for the first time her small stature, and wearing only a thin knee length dress he was reminded of her fragile and elegant frame. Admiring the curves of her hips, and lusting the cleavage exposed from her low cut dress he finally returned his gaze to meet hers and he shot her a reassuring smile before lowering his head to her neck. She bent her head to one side to give him better access, gasping quietly as he caught the sensitive area behind her ear as if he already knew it was there, then she felt his fingers on her shoulder, his lips following in the path of his fingertips along her collarbone as he pulled back the strap of her dress.

As she felt him reach for the zip at the back of her dress again she was frustrated to find his hands still as he stopped his advances. She looked at him and found him waiting for her attention.

"Are you sure…?" he started, "if this is too soon…" Chakotay didn't know why he felt so apprehensive of what they were about to do, it wasn't as if any of this was new to either of them. It was as if he had wanted her his entire life, and now that it was about to happen, he was so worried that this final act would cause him to lose her.

Kathryn however was far from concerned, although she had only known this man a short while, she already felt that she knew him inside out, that she could trust him with not only with her life but also her heart. She nodded slowly, smiling up at him with appreciation for his consideration and a certainty that he was all she would ever want.

V

Tbc... let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay stood out on the balcony of his apartment taking in the sun-set view of the river. His mind was racing with so many different thoughts, he was thankful for a moment alone in the fresh air to centre his mind. It had been almost a month since he had arrived on Quarra, and in that time he now felt more settled and at peace than he had ever before in his life, and the realisation had slowly been creeping upon him that it had nothing to do with the planet. Somehow, this woman who he had had the good fortune to meet, had managed to calm and sooth his agitated soul.

He found himself intoxicated by her. Their love making was more passionate and fulfilling than he had ever known sex to be, and he had never felt more content as when he held her after and drifted off into a blissful sleep. In the mornings when he woke before her he would find himself watching her endlessly as she continued sleep, and now on the nights she didn't spend with him, he would wake up disappointed to find space beside him deserted. It took him a long while to realise what it was, because he was sure he had never felt it before, but eventually his feelings towards Kathryn became so strong and overpowering that to not acknowledge would have become too painful.

Hearing footsteps come up from behind him, his companion joined him on the balcony, and so he set aside his thoughts for the moment.

"You weren't kidding about the view that night were you?" Kathryn noted as she handed him one of the mugs she had brought out with her and gazed out at the beautiful sunset before them.

Chakotay smirked, "you didn't think I just said it in an attempt to seduce you?"

She raised an eyebrow, "you didn't?"

Laughing lightly, with his free arm he pulled her closer toward him, and she was grateful for the warmth his body offered in protection of the chill night air. "I don't think I was prepared for this," he changed the tone of their conversation as she realised the seriousness tint to his words.

"Prepared for what?" she reclined her head slightly to study his features.

He turned to gaze down at her, their eyes instantly locking, "for falling in love," he admitted.

She searched his face such a long time, for a moment he worried that airing those words had been a mistake, but finally her expression softened into a smile he wasn't sure he'd ever seen on her before, and the gentle curve of her lips instantly settled him. "Why does this feel so right?" she asked him, shifting further in to his embrace, "why does it feel like I've known you for years?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted, curiously happy to hear that she also had the same thoughts that he'd been having. "Kathryn, are you comfortable, here, with me?"

The woman beside him frowned, uncertain what his question really meant, "of course," she responded, as if such an answer was so obvious she wondered why he even had to ask. Then she sighed contently, resting her head against his shoulder and taking a sip of a warm drink that reminded her very much of coffee, "I can't remember feeling any more comfortable in my life," she admitted.

"Me neither," he told her truthfully. Although her words were exactly what she wanted to hear, Chakotay worried that to voice the idea he had been mulling over for the last few days might ruin what they had. "I wondered if you would consider moving in with me?" he said at last, dropping his arm from across her shoulders so that he could face her and better gauge her response.

She hesitated, and looked away. A sudden fear rose up inside of him that he had made a mistake, that he had pushed her too far, and he thought desperately to rectify the situation. "I know that it's impulsive…" he explained, "… and that we haven't known each other very long; but being with you is just so easy, and these feelings I have for you are so strong and-"

"Okay," she said, almost stunning herself with the word. To both his great relief and surprise she hadn't pulled away. Instead she now smiled openly up at him, with a twinkle in her eyes as she met his gaze, "maybe I'm out of my mind to agree to this, but let's try it."

Chakotay had to remind himself to breathe as a wash of relief overcame him; he hadn't realised how desperately he had wanted her to say 'yes' until that moment when she had. Absently he placed his mug on the balcony edge, and knowing better than to deprive Kathryn of her own drink, he allowed her to keep hold of the mug as he took her face gently in his hands and leaned forwards to kiss her, before pulling back ever so slightly to smile gratefully and affectionately across at her.

V

Tom entered the bar, clenching his jaw tightly to prevent himself from yelping in pain at the injury he had sustained to his upper arm. By trying to keep a low profile he made his way carefully to the corner booth so that he could better assess what damage the weapon's fire had inflicted on his body, and to gain some time to formulate a new plan.

He and Neelix had transported to the planet a couple of days ago, and assuming the roles of new inhabitants looking for work, they had begun to track down their former crew mates. Tom could handle Chakotay and Tuvok not recognising him… in some ways he almost thought he preferred it that way, but it had genuinely broken his heart when B'Elanna had looked at him without even a hint of recognition, let alone the love and devotion he usually found held in her eyes. He tried to shake his mind of his worries, of the recent memory of having to kidnap his own wife, and the look of betrayal and hurt he had seen directed towards him moments before her transport.

Before he could fully convince and reassure himself that everything would be okay and the doctor would find a way to bring B'Elanna's memories back, two familiar voices broke him from his revere, and he turned to see Kathryn and Chakotay enter the bar, chatting and laughing happily between themselves. The sight of the two of them, as they took a table across from him was strangely familiar and yet very odd at the same time. He had seen each of them at his workplace, and knew that they had formed a close friendship, but was becoming apparent as he covertly observed their behaviour towards one another was that they had a more intimate relationship than he had initially assumed.

Kathryn touched Chakotay with a lingering and an obvious affection which he had never seen her show towards her first officer before. Chakotay had closed the physical gap between them, which Tom knew the man would never have dared to do on Voyager (much as he suspected the commander would have wanted to do so). They spoke in hushed tones like only lovers do, and with their eyes focussed on only one another, and oblivious to everyone else in the bar, he recognised that they were allowing themselves to fall in love.

Silently Tom cursed the planet for what it had done to his crew. He knew that despite the rumours his command team did not have this kind of relationship back on the ship. Although at some point he had thought that they might have gone there, and he had strong suspicions of a mutual desire that they both held to explore a more intense relationship, they hadn't. He never knew if had been because of an agreement, or a silent and unspoken understanding, but they had never before crossed those barriers. He now worried that if they remembered this experience, it might not affect just their command relationship, but also their friendship in coming to terms with what they had shared.

Tom realised his staring was becoming impolite when he witnessed Chakotay whisper something in to his captain's ear and then nuzzle her lobe, before tenderly cupping her cheek and placing a lingering kiss to her lips. Taking a sip of his drink, Tom tried not to think about how happy they looked together, and how cruel it was going to be for them to be taken from the safe harbour they had found in one another on Quarra to return to Voyager.

The conversation between the couple finally rose to an audible level, and inadvertently Tom found himself listening as they spoke about unpacking and boxes and Kathryn's accumulation of nick-knacks. It was a shocking but not altogether unsurprising revelation to learn that they had recently moved in together, and when he heard that Kathryn's apartment was now uninhabited, Tom made the decision that he would hide there until Voyager returned for him.

V

_A couple of days later_

Chakotay had been waiting for Kathryn to return to their shared apartment for much longer than he expected to, and out of worry he had gone in search of her. She had told him that she was only going back to her old apartment to collect some items she realised she had left there when they had moved her things a little over a week ago, but the time she had been gone would have been enough to make the trip several times, and so his anxiety increased. Just as he started on the stair case of her apartment block, he heard a familiar clicking of heels and turned to find her coming up behind him as she crossed the entrance hall.

She seemed lost in thought, and was so distracted she didn't notice him. "Kathryn," he said, remaining stood half way up the stair case from her.

She jumped, "Chakotay," she stated with great surprise.

He frowned, "I was starting to worry where you were," he glanced down and noticed a dermal regenerator held in one hand, and his worry deepened, "is everything okay, are you alright?"

Kathryn glanced over her shoulder as if to ensure they were not being watched or overheard, "I'm fine," she assured him as she began to ascend the stairs and make her way past him so that he had to follow, "there's someone from work in my apartment who's injured and I just went to get some equipment to help him."

Now he found himself confused, as he followed her, "someone from work?" he pressed, "who?"

It wasn't until they were on the second flight of stairs that she answered him, "it's Tom Paris."

Realising that Chakotay was no longer beside her, she stopped and turned to find him standing a few steps below her, staring up at her incredulously. "You mean the man responsible for the disappearance of that woman a few days ago?"

"It's not as simple as that," she began to explain what had motivated her to decide to help such a man, "he said that the woman was his wife-"

He shook his head, sure he still wasn't quite understanding the entire situation, "his wife… that doesn't give him the right to take her forcefully from the planet."

"Apparently she was brain washed, along with other members of this man's crew; he's just trying to recover his missing crew mates."

Chakotay still didn't quite understand why she hadn't reported the man she said was now hiding in her apartment, "and you believe him?"

Kathryn could see that he was about to resist her effort to help the injured man, "I know, it sounds ridiculous, but if you come up to meet him, and listen to what he has to say, I'm sure you'll understand."

He watched for a moment as she continued her ascent, before he followed after her, "exactly how long have you been hiding this man?" he asked in a hushed tone as he caught up with her on the level of her apartment.

"I only found him this evening when I went to collect some of my things…" she started to explain, spinning round quickly to glare across at him as she felt Chakotay grab her upper arm and hold her in place.

"I'm not letting you go back in there, he sounds dangerous," he explained his sudden action, "we should report him to the authorities, and if his story holds up then they can deal with the situation."

"Apparently they're in on it," she protested.

He held her determined gaze, and came to the reluctant realisation that her mind was set to help this stranger, and short of forcing her out of the building nothing he could say would make her willingly take his suggestion. "Fine," he said at last, "but I'm coming with you."

V

Although Tom was grateful that Kathryn hadn't reported him, and was thankful for her assistance as she healed his damaged skin, he was wary of the man she had brought with her, as Chakotay paced the almost empty apartment. When Kathryn had discovered his presence over an hour ago, he had found it almost easy to convince her of his innocence. He considered that the confidence she had held in him on Voyager, translated into a trust on Quarra now her memories had been altered. From Chakotay's stance, he realised that the other man held little belief in his story, and appeared almost angry at Kathryn for going along with it. At first he thought that perhaps feelings of betrayal the former maquis had held towards him at the beginning of their journey were subconsciously resurfacing, but as he thought about it some more, and he put himself in his commander's situation, he wondered if it was his protective attitude towards his captain which was driving his cautiousness.

"You really need to see a doctor," Kathryn said to him, as she placed the medical instrument to one side and sat back on her heel.

"That will have to wait until I'm back on Voyager," he said, testing the use of his ship's name, in the hope that saying something familiar might trigger a distant memory.

"Voyager?" she questioned, and he realised that she had no idea what he was talking about.

"My ship," he explained.

"You live onboard?"

"For almost seven years," he affirmed.

She shook her head, "that's a long time. Do you ever not want to stay in one place?"

Tom cast a glance over at Chakotay, "you seem happy here."

She smiled when she realised that he meant she was happy with her companion, "I am, and having a good job helps."

He trained his attention back on Kathryn, as he heard her repeat the old mantra of what a great job it was at the power plant. "You monitor reactor coils right? You seem very capable, ever consider doing something more challenging?"

Kathryn almost laughed, "like what?"

"I'm sure you could run the plant," he said.

"Why would I want all that responsibility?" she asked, finding the suggestion almost ridiculous.

Tom automatically thought that such a response had been programmed, but as he met her gaze he could sense nothing about her words which wasn't genuine, and with a great sadness he realised that although his captain took the responsibility of the ship with a great martyr attitude, this woman, who was in all essence Kathryn Janeway, wanted nothing more than a simple and happy life. Just then his comm. buzzed into action, and instantly Chakotay was crossing the room to investigate.

"What was that?" Chakotay immediately demanded, coming to stand beside Kathryn, resting a hand on her shoulder as if to silently communicate to let him handle the situation if a problem arose.

"It's my communication device," Tom felt himself explained, "my people are trying to contact me."

With slow and open actions, he activated the comm., "Paris here," he announced.

"Are you okay Tom?" he heard the concern in Harry's voice.

"I'm fine," he said neutrally, "how's B'Elanna?"

"She's responding well to treatment," Harry assured him, "the doctor said she'll be back to normal in a couple of days."

"Can you beam me out of here?" he requested, very aware of the two people near by, thinking that he might be able to take them with him.

"Not yet," Harry responded, "we're eight light years away, hiding in an asteroid crater. We'll need a couple more days to finish repairs before we can come for you and the rest of the crew. Have you found a way to shut down the shield grid?"

"I think so," Tom responded.

"Have you located any other members of the crew?"

Tom paused as he examined the two people across from him who watched him carefully, one with wonder and the other with suspicion. "Actually, I'm with the captain and commander right now," he said, knowing that if he was going to deactivate the shield grid from his position on the planet he would require assistance, and these two people were the best chance the crew had ever had.

He could almost hear Harry beaming, "how are they?"

"Suspicious," he answered, and realising the sudden surprised and defensive positions both had adopted he realised that he needed to bring his conversation with Harry to a swift end in order to explain what he meant. "Until I get back to you I suggest we remain in communications silence, in case we are being monitored."

"Very well," Harry agreed, "good luck Tom, I'll see you in a few days."

"See you Harry," he bid his good friend a firm farewell, before closing the channel and turning his attention to his commanding officers who were now regarding him with astonishment and confusion.

"What the hell kind of game are you trying to play?" Chakotay suddenly exploded, purposefully reaching for the weapon Tom had left on the side and holding it with deliberation in his direction.

Tom noticed Kathryn look a little less certain than her companion, but no more convinced of his words. "Why did you refer to us as the captain and commander of your ship?" she demanded

Although weary of the weapon now pointed at his chest, and the knowledge that Chakotay wouldn't hesitate to use it if he believed them to be in any danger, he tried to remain calm. "That's who you are," he stated.

"That's absurd," the other man spat out.

"What are you saying?" Kathryn pressed, as always eager to get to the bottom of a new situation. "Were we brought here too, against our will? That our memories have also been manipulated?"

"Yes," he said.

"Helping you was a mistake," to Tom's surprise Kathryn suddenly stood and backed away from him.

"Wait," he was about to get up, but noticed Chakotay waver the weapon more purposefully in his direction, and so he decided it was probably best to remain seated. "Just think about it, there are only almost a hundred or so of our species on this planet, don't you think it's more than a little coincidental that you all arrived here at the same time, and yet none of you know one another?"

Kathryn turned back round sharply to face him, and he could see that he had planted a seed of doubt in both hers and Chakotay's minds. "And we're meant to take your word for this?" Chakotay asked, the hand that brandished the weapon now hesitant.

"Don't the two of you feel like you already know one another; from a time before you met on this planet?" he pressed, knowing that he was close to convincing them.

Kathryn turned away from him and crossed over towards the window as she attempted to decipher all that he was trying to tell them.

"So let me get this straight?" Chakotay continued now with more uncertainty, "we command this ship… Voyager?"

"Yes," he said desperately, "I know it's difficult for you to believe me, but please, just help me take down the planet's security grid and I will prove it to you."

"Like hell you will."

"That worker who got sick the other day," Tom was unperturbed in his attempt to convince them both, "Tuvok. It wasn't radiation sickness, his memories were returning to him. He's the chief security officer on board Voyager, and cap- Kathryn, he's been one of your closest friends for close to two decades."

She turned round sharply as he addressed her and noticed his mistake, "what were you about to call me?"

This time he hesitated, unsure that if she knew the truth she would even want to help him any further, "nothing."

"You were about to call me captain," she said, astonished, having immediately assumed that if she and Chakotay were who he claimed them to be, that she would have been the first officer.

Chakotay appeared equally as stunned, as his arm dropped to his side and he stepped back a little way from the younger man.

"Paris, can I ask you what my relationship is with Chakotay aboard this… Voyager? Are we married?"

The pilot's jaw hung, and he realised that not only was Kathryn starting to believe him, but was also now starting to think more like his captain, and as such, recognised the inappropriateness of a captain and first officer dating. "You're close," he tried to give her the confirmation she looked like she so desperately needed.

"How close?" she never relented.

"We don't have to listen to this," Chakotay interrupted, "the only mind manipulation going on right now is by this man. I know how I got here, how I met you," he dropped his voice slightly, but Tom could still hear him, "I know how I feel about you."

"It makes sense," Kathryn pointed out, almost sadly, lowing her voice also she continued, "I feel like I've known you for years, not weeks, maybe this is why."

Tom watched as Chakotay reached up and tenderly cupped the woman's face, gazing at her with such admiration and love he wondered that if it had always been there how both of them had managed to hide it so well over the years. "What we have here and now is real, I can't accept that we have another life, we can't risk all that we have on what this man is saying, I love you too much for that."

The helmsman shifted his gaze, but didn't miss Kathryn's murmured love confession for her first officer. He understood Chakotay's reluctance to believe the story, as the man had a gut instinct that if it were true, then it was unlikely that his relationship with Kathryn on the ship had the same level of intimacy as they had on the planet. "Even if we have this other life," she now spoke a little more clearly, "then what we have here won't be forgotten, we won't lose each other."

Chakotay met her gaze, and at her words his last shred of reluctance to accept the story fell away and he conceded with a nod of his head. "We'll help you," he said at last, and it took Tom a moment to realise that he was being addressed as he turned to face his commanding officers, stood across from him, hand in hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Voyager and characters are not remotely mine.

Thanks to everyone for your reviews and support of the story so far. Hopefully you'll find the ending very... Voyager-like, (this isn't the ending by the way), just to prepare you.

Chapter 3

Kathryn came to as if out a dreamless sleep, instead of the intense medical procedure which it was. She opened her eyes to find herself looking up at the ceiling of sick bay, and turning her head on the bio bed on which she lay, saw the doctor talking with B'Elanna in his office. It took her a moment to remember what she was doing there, and why it felt so strange to recognise everything, and in that same moment that it all came flooding back to her, movement on the other side of her made her realise she was not alone.

"How are you?"

A strong voice shifted her attention towards Chakotay who was crossing towards where she lay, and as she looked up into his gaze a deep frown overcame her features, as she struggled with the many memories seeing him suddenly elicited. She remembered kissing him, arguing together, laughing at a joke, smirking at a private understanding, watching him as he slept… some memories she recognised as having happened in the past couple of months, and others having happened years before. At the last realisation she gasped; she had known him for years, they were friends of that she was instantly assured, but she now found herself desperately struggling for a memory of anything more.

Failing to force herself to pull up any memory at will, she eventually returned her eyes to his, blue melting into brown. She recognised his anticipation of her having reclaimed some more of her memories, and saw him waiting patiently for a reaction.

"You remember this ship, our crew… our lives?" Kathryn asked him quickly as she sat herself up.

He nodded solemnly, and she felt at a loss to understand why he looked so miserable. "Yes," he answered simply, "I'm starting to remember."

Again a look of confusion took hold of her features, it felt like she was clasping at something that couldn't be held. "It feels very disconcerting."

"The doctor says that it will still be a little foggy until our final treatment," he reassured her that what she was experiencing was expected. He closed his eyes a brief moment as if to suppress a thought or emotion, and when he opened them again, a sad, distant look overcame him.

Sensing that something was wrong, she decided to press him, "what have you remembered?"

Chakotay shrugged, "nothing much. The memories are all pieces of some jigsaw that I can't seem to fit and see the entire picture."

Kathryn felt that he was holding something back from her, and something in her gut told her that she too should know it already, but her mind was a such a muddle she was unable to explain it. "You're remembering something though?"

He considered not telling her, he knew she would learn it by herself eventually, but to have her look at him with such fear and worry, he realised he couldn't hold it back from her any longer. "We're not the same people we were back on that planet," he told her at last.

"I know," she said quickly, that much was obvious, but at the same time she realised she didn't know… and then, as if someone had suddenly turned on the light bulb in her head she understood what he was trying to say. "You mean we're not involved," she stated simply.

He nodded, and then he looked away from her to smile bitterly to himself, "I'm not even sure what we are on this ship."

"We're friends," she said immediately, of that she was sure, and again his eyes focussed on hers. "…You're my first officer. I know I trust you more than I have anyone else in my life."

"But we're not lovers Kathryn. We're not attached romantically to other people… and yet we're not together."

"Chakotay, we considered this, and we've talked about it, and we decided-"

"I'm not sure it's going to happen like that," he cut her off gently, "think about it; there's a reason we're not involved on this ship."

Kathryn hesitated, her memories were still a haze to her, and as she again failed miserably to understand for herself what was wrong, her confusion turned to frustration and she looked up at him with annoyance. "If you already know all the answers, then I'm not sure what's holding you back Chakotay. Tell me why we're not together."

He continued to look across at her for a long moment and she could almost hear the clogs turning as he considered whether or not to reveal the truth for her, or if he should wait for her to discover by herself. Finally, he realised what a torture it must be for her to be so uncertain about her own life, as it had for the past couple of hours that he had already had to become accustomed to it. "I think it's you," he said it quietly, now averting her gaze as he became overcome with a pain which seemed to stab through his chest.

She opened her mouth to protest, to correct him, to say anything really, but nothing came out. Her eyes moved from off him and to the grey wall as she attempted to centre her thoughts, to think of why and how he had come to that conclusion, as she thought that knowing would enable her to argue he was wrong. Before she was able to tell him that she was unwilling to accept his words, she realised his slow movements and looked up to find him walking away from her. She would have called him back, except that something, deep inside of her believed that he was right, and so she let him leave, allowing herself to immerse in the memory of that last night on Quarra.

_Chakotay crossed the living room of his apartment, glancing across at Tom Paris who was fast asleep on his couch. The man's condition had taken a turn for the worse in the first couple of hours after they had met him, and having convinced them that he couldn't be taken to a medical facility for fear of being caught, Chakotay had agreed to bring him into their home. _

_Despite the risk of being caught harbouring a fugitive, he and Kathryn realised that the story Tom had given them not only fitted, but it also made sense. There was something familiar and natural about them being together, and they considered that it could easily be because of this life he claimed they had on Voyager. Neither of them being people to take someone's word completely on faith, it wasn't until Tom had shown them records of other members of their former crew, and pointed out the same date in which they had all arrived on the planet. Learning that they had all been treated for a condition called 'dysphoria syndrome' that neither of them remembered having received was what had finally clinched it for the both of them, and they agreed to help the pilot and rediscover their lost lives… whatever that meant for them._

_Nearing the end of the hallway, Chakotay stepped into his bedroom, to see Kathryn already settled in the bed as he quietly closed the door behind him._

"_Is everything ready for tomorrow?" she surprised him by speaking as he thought she had gone to sleep._

"_Yes, Tom contacted his ship earlier and they've given us the exact timings," he explained, removing his boots and then beginning to unbutton his shirt. "Are you okay?" he asked, she had gone to bed an hour earlier saying that she had a headache, but he sensed that there was something more to it than that._

"_I'm fine," she said quickly._

"_Really?" he asked, "you were the first one to believe Tom, and now you're the one seeming hesitant to go through with his plan."_

"_I'm not reluctant to return to the ship. I just…" she couldn't quite explain it, "I suppose I'm a little apprehensive to find out what lives we've forgotten."_

_Chakotay nodded, and as she reminded him of the immensity of what they were about to embark on, and all that was going to change, he took a moment to sit down on the edge of the bed. "I don't think that we're this close on that ship," he commented, and when she didn't respond straight away he felt he should elaborate to explain why he had come to that conclusion. "When we behave affectionately towards each other, Paris looks awkward, as if we're going something wrong. What if on Voyager you're married to another man, or I'm in a relationship with someone other than you?"_

"_He would have told us if that were the case," Kathryn assured him, placing a hand on his lowerback to sooth him. "I refuse to believe that we don't love each other onboard Voyager."_

_He sighed, and turned to her, remaining above the sheets as he lay down beside her, wrapping an arm about her waist. "Promise me, that whatever we are on that ship, that you won't forget this, that you won't forget me?"_

_Even in the soft moonlight he could still make out her sad expression at hearing such a request. "I will never forget," she assured him, and with that reached up to press her lips to his._

Kathryn remembered their final night together as if it was someone else's memory and so a shiver ran up her spine. She found it difficult to imagine that it had really been her who had made that promise, who had so openly confessed her love for that man, and who had lain in his arms until they had awoken the following morning. And yet that memory did belong to her. After the first procedure which she had undergone the memories of her life on Voyager had felt like invading in on the life of someone else, and now the memories of that planet on which she had started to make a life were seeming like that of someone else.

Before she could confuse herself over which set of memories were most real to her, another memory of Chakotay started to come back to her, and as she realised that it was before their time on Quarra she allowed herself to become emersed in it. Refining the images into a coherent story, she was finally able to look over the memory and in doing so started to understand Chakotay's haunted look from earlier.

_They were sat in her quarters, having finished a meal and moved over to the couch to continue talking. Chakotay's arm was draped casually across the back of the couch and she sat close beside him. Something had changed, something in the past few moments had dramatically altered the mood in the room. The music drifted effortlessly through the air, their almost emptied glasses of wine sat forgotten on the table, they had remained in the same close proximity to one another for over an hour, and yet something was different._

_Remnants of a joke which had caused them both to laugh lingered in a small smirk on her face, which vanished as she met his eyes. He was now watching her with a sudden intensity and hunger which she rarely saw in him anymore, and for the first time in a long while she felt intimidated by his presence. What surprised her more though was the rush of desire which flowed through her at the mere thought of his intent towards her. He must have recognised the want for him in her eyes and she felt him move closer to her, his body leaning in to close the small gap between them._

_Kathryn realised that he was going to kiss her, but out of a combination of shock and a _need_ for him she didn't pull back. His hand reached up to cup her cheek, and as his thumb grazed her lips, her eyes shut involuntarily; welcome to his touch. Feeling his warm breath against her skin, her mouth parted in anticipation a moment before he pressed his lips to hers._

_The kiss was gentle and lingered, lasting only moments, but it wasn't enough. He pulled back slightly and her eyes flew open to match his as he carefully watched her, love and devotion now explicit in his deep brown gaze. In that moment though she didn't care about his feelings for her, nor did she want to take the time to consider her own for him, she only wanted to feel his touch again, to lose herself in the moment, in his scent and beneath his body. As if sensing her automatic reaction he moved forward to kiss her again, and this time with all the force and passion he had previously restrained._

_His fingertips pushed through her hair to hold the back of her head as hers came up around his neck, the well controlled and calm first officer she had known for years disappearing to be replaced by a man who desperately wanted her._

_She would have allowed it to continue, to follow through where ever it lead, if that were her bedroom or the couch for about half a second she didn't care. Then a voice inside of her spoke, telling her to stop, to not let it go any further than it already had. It was the same part of her which had never allowed her to kiss him before, despite how many opportunities there had been, or mutual desire to do so. She had to remind herself that he was her first officer, and she, his captain. It wasn't just inappropriate or unprofessional or against protocol, all that she could ignore, it was the fact that they were in the middle of the delta quadrant, that there was no where to hide from the repercussions of a failed relationship, no chance to give up her command to devote herself to him as he deserved and lastly, no way to grieve if they should ever lose one another._

_Her hand came up to his chest before she had even registered how or why it was there, and only the smallest amount of pressure was enough to halt his advances, to cause him to pull back and look at her with both hurt and confusion. Kathryn opened her mouth to explain, but he dropped his arms from around her and looked away, "I-"_

"_Don't," he softly interrupted, shaking his head, "don't say it."_

_Anything she had been quickly preparing to say fell away as she heard the anguish in his voice. She watched his chest rise and then fell as he let out a short sigh, "I shouldn't have…" he started but cut himself off before he turned back to face her, his eyes reluctantly meeting hers, "I'm sorry."_

_Wanting to tell him that there was nothing to apologise for, words failed her._

"_We have an early start tomorrow," he spluttered, "I should go."_

_Despite the part of her that wanted for him to stay, she knew how wrong it would be for her to do so. He was her first officer, her confidant, her friend… she couldn't risk losing him for a selfish indulgence. Kathryn couldn't be sure what had lead them to that kiss, all she knew was that she should never have allowed it to happen, and was saddened with the thought that they would feel the repercussions of such a mistake for a long time. _

_Kathryn had for some time suspected his feelings towards her extended beyond that of simply friendship, but her suspicions hadn't been confirmed definitively until she had seen the look of disappointment consume his face when she had indicated for him to stop. Although in her weak moments she might admit that she too had feelings for him, Kathryn knew that out there, in the delta quadrant, to embrace such feelings was dangerous as it could cloud her judgement and affect their performance as a command team. Chakotay knew it too, but she understood that sometimes he found it difficult to accept the barriers they had long ago silently agreed upon._

"_I'll see you tomorrow commander," she choked the words after him, as he stood from her couch and started to make his way over to the doors._

_Whether it was that she had used his rank, or said anything at all, but he flinched before turning. "Goodnight Kathryn," he said solemnly, and for the first time she saw the hurt in his eyes which her denial of what they really were did to him._

_She couldn't say anything after that, but instead watched helplessly as Chakotay left her quarters._

_-_

_Tbc... (of course!:)  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Voyager and its characters belong to paramount.

I wrote this rewrite of Workforce a while ago, intending it to just be a short story, but with all the positive reviews, i've delayed adding this final chapter as I've been trying to figure out if and how I should continue it. I've decided just to finish it here as I always intended, so please let me know if you think I've done the characters any more or less justice than they received from the show.

**Chapter 4**

With a heavy head, Chakotay sat up on the bio bed, his mind still groggy and feeling strangely at odds with the chirpy greeting in which he was greeted by the EMH.

"Ah, commander," the doctor said happily as he passed a triquarder over his body, "how are you feeling? Do you remember me?"

He frowned, his mind momentarily going blank as to why he was in sickbay, "of course," he said, his confusion increasing slightly a fragments of memories came back to him.

Then he remembered. He had been on a planet, taken by force, and his memories had been altered… suddenly the events of not only the past few days which he lead to his rescue, but also of the past six weeks on Quarra came back to him… of Kathryn. He let out a long breath as that last realisation struck him, one which he had slowly begun to feel more guilty about the past few days as he had been receiving treatment on Voyager, and now he had finished his course of treatments the reason as to why became clear to him.

"Well commander, I'm glad to give you a clean bill of health," he announced.

Chakotay hesitated, before nodding, "good," he said. "The captain... is her treatment now complete?"

"Yes," the doctor frowned with concern, having observed some unusual behaviour between his commanding officers since their return;

On their first visit to the sickbay had had witnessed them express an affection towards one another, he knew that in their professional stances neither of them would have allowed. After the first round of treatments they had remained close, and together they had explored and rediscovered their lives. However, after the second treatment when their memories became clearer and more focussed instead of everything simply seeming familiar, the doctor noticed them behave uncertainly towards one another, and that second night he was sure they had spent apart. Now that their memories had been fully restored, he reasoned that whatever they had experienced together on that planet, they would need to deal with, as he was certain whatever it was would not easily be forgotten.

"The captain returned to her quarters to recuperate," the EMH elaborated, "I suggest that you do the same."

Chakotay stepped off the bio bed and nodded his head curtly as if to thank the doctor, but unable to quite find the words to do so, having never felt so uncertain before in his life if he had really should have been thankful for a rescue. "I will do that," he said at last, before briskly stepping out of sickbay.

V

Kathryn Janeway stood alone in front of the large view port which span her quarters, staring blankly out at the stars which were whirring past the ship. With each second that went by she felt a sad awareness that they were another thousand kilometres from the planet; and for once she wasn't glad to be another thousand closer to home. The silence of space and the gentle humming of the ship were the ideal background for her thoughts which drifted over memories, danced across regrets and with reluctance settled on the uncertainties of her future decisions. Part of her wanted to give in to her wants and desires, but another part (a much stronger one) knew better, could see beyond the horizon and told her that she must hold her ground; no matter what he said.

The door bleeped for entry and she almost startled at the unexpectedness of the sound as she quickly broke from her revere. With a deep breath she swiftly cleared her mind, and angling herself towards the door she allowed admittance to her sanctuary. The doors opened instantly, and it was him, of course it was, now in his uniform with a sombre expression and cautious look in his eyes.

"I know it's late…" he began.

"It's fine," she said softly, "take a seat." For a moment she almost met his gaze, as he hesitated a moment in the doorway, but she caught herself quickly and trained her attention back on the window, purposefully keeping her back to him to gain a few seconds to collect herself as he walked into the space.

Chakotay hesitated before he crossed the threshold as he noticed the dim lighting of her quarters, the absence of the fresh scent of coffee filling the air and her stance by the view port and recognised that she was brooding. She was clad in her uniform, her hair and her makeup perfect, and the mask on her face impenetrable, and it was with a great sadness that he noted the last remains of the Kathryn he had known on that planet had now disappeared, to be replaced by this woman, who was his captain and his closest friend… but never his lover.

She, as he had, had probably spent most of that day since their final treatment going over in her mind what had happened on Quarra. It had taken him a while to sort through his feelings for the woman he had known on that planet, and those for his captain, and he had come to the unsurprising conclusion that they were no different, it was just in one life he had been able to express his love for this woman, and in another he was forced to repress it. He had no doubt that she had been struggling with a similar dilemma, but despite his hopes that she would acknowledge her feelings for him, he knew that she would in all probability pretend that they had been two different people, and the affair that they had begun on the planet had no foundation on Voyager. With that last thought his heart broke.

Although tempted to retreat and avoid her for a little longer, he realised that he had already done that enough since they had been back, so he resigned himself to his fate and entered. He noticed that she avoided his gaze before she turned away from him, and was quick to recognise it as a bad sign, despite how expected it had been, he was overcome with a sense of loss that it had to be this way.

He sat himself down on the couch in her quarters, clasping his hands on his lap and looking straight ahead on the floor ahead of him as he patiently waited for the inevitable.

A long silence enveloped them both, one which neither were willing to break as they took time to sort their thoughts, until finally she spoke.

"It may not have been entirely real Chakotay," Kathryn said at last with a great distance and heaviness to her voice, "but it felt like home. If they hadn't have come after us, we may never have known that we had another life."

He pursed his lips, looking across in her direction as she continued to stare out at window, both of them considering what might have been if Voyager hadn't have come for them, "do you regret any of it?"

Kathryn turned her head slightly so that he saw the profile of her face, "no," she surprised him, but from her sad expression he would have thought she'd said otherwise.

His heart jumped at the unexpectedness of word (as he had considered she would be in full denial), but then he saw tears glimmering in her eyes and he understood that she was referring not only to their time on that planet, but also to Voyager having rescued them. Seeing how difficult it was for her, in a moment of weakness he considered pushing for more.

Slowly, he raised himself from the couch, taking a few steps towards her, but purposefully stopping himself when he was just a few feet away. "I would have said I fell in love with you on that planet," he began to admit, his voice rich, soft and luring and sounding much stronger than he felt, "but the truth is that I fell in love with you years ago."

His bluntness stunned Kathryn, and she turned to face him. The surprise of finding him standing so close to her caused her eyes to unintentionally meet his for the first time since they had regained their memories, and for a brief moment he realised the effect his close proximity was having on her. The need for him he saw residing in the depths of her blue eyes was there for less than a nano second before it was forcibly removed as she quickly controlled herself and again the command mask slipped back into place. But he saw it all the same.

She didn't respond straight away as she gathered herself, trying desperately not to react automatically to his words, as she knew if she allowed herself to do so, she would allow him to take her right there. "I'm not sure what you want from me Chakotay," she started, "but I can't-"

"I know," he cut her off, not wanting to hear whatever she had been about to say, "I know," he repeated with a heavy sigh. The truth was that he had known since the doctor had woken him from his final treatment that it was over, but knowing what was coming didn't mean it hurt any less to experience it. "I'm not expecting you to keep any promises we made to one another…" he said after a while, "I just wanted you to know that it hadn't meant nothing to me."

Her eyes closed momentarily as she allowed herself to acknowledge his words, truthfully she wasn't sure of her feelings for him now or before, but she was forced to admit to herself that it had meant something to her also. "Do you think we can forget what happened and go back to how it was before?"

Unable to stop himself, his mind flickered back to making love to her in the shower, of her finger nails digging into his shoulders as he held her against the ceramic tiles, water flowing over their bodies as they gasped for every breath, feeling both suffocated and exhilarated at the same time. The truth was that no, he couldn't forget what they had shared on Quarra, how it had felt to hold her in his arms at night and to chat as lovers into the early hours of the morning. Even when he looked at her now he had to repress the urge to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her indefinitely. "Do you really want to do that?"

Her shoulders sagged, and once more she summoned the strength to turn and meet his gaze, her eyes pleading with him not to make this any harder than it already was. When Chakotay recognised what he was doing to her he couldn't help but feel guilty; if their memories hadn't been altered she would never have allowed what happened. To push for it here, on Voyager and from her, was asking too much.

Knowing that she wasn't going to change her mind, Chakotay decided to tell her what she needed to hear. "We can go back to how it was before, how it's always been," he said at last, "at least I'm willing to try…"

The grateful expression she meant to shoot in his direction faltered, and her mask slipped a moment, and he saw the true grief of what they had lost held at the back of her eyes. "Thank you," she managed, her voice cracking, so she swallowed hard.

He wasn't finished though, and despite the little voice at the back of his mind telling him to let it be, to leave her alone, to not say anything which would only add to her burden, for once the selfish part of him won out and he went on to speak his mind. "We can pretend Kathryn, but I'm not going to forget, and I don't think you will either."

The shocked look on her face provided him with just a moments satisfaction that he needed to hurt a little less.

To his surprise though her expression quickly cleared, "don't think this is easy for me Chakotay," she said quietly, almost struggling with every syllable, and again he was overcome with a guilt for having done that too her.

Closing his eyes for a brief moment to acknowledge the hidden meaning of her words, the meaning that she wouldn't even admit to herself… that she had feelings for him; and not in the way she felt so strongly and cared about every member of her crew, or how she cherished all of her closest friends, but the feelings for a lover, for a most trusted confident, a soul mate, for him. "If you ask me to wait, I will-" he began but she held up her hand to stop him.

Shaking her head she smiled sadly across at him, "you would only end up resenting me," she said, "that is, if you don't already…"

His eyes widened and with a sad realisation he came to understand that she had known about his feelings for her for a long time now, but for the same reasons she was refusing to acknowledge them now, she had never back then. He wanted to tell her that he had never resented her, but truthfully there had been so many occasions where his frustration with her cool and controlled exterior and refusal to let him in had driven him close to resentment. He had been in love with her for years, and for that reason, more than any other, he had been reluctant to engage in an affair with any other member of the crew… despite the numerous opportunities to do so. It had been hope that had kept him going, hope that she might ignore protocol, forget the crew and her burden and overcome the inappropriateness of such a relationship to embrace what he was now certain she felt for him. Despite the remote possibility of it ever happening, that hope had kept him going for over four years now, to have it dashed so firmly and finally by her in only a few seconds almost took his breath away.

It took him a moment to regain his composure, and when he had, he found her still there, watching him carefully, waiting patiently for him to say something. Any energy that had been in him to continue to fight had been sapped in those seconds and he let out a breath that he hadn't been aware of holding. "I should go," he said at last.

She nodded with acceptance, as if agreeing that there was nothing more to be said, so it was probably for the best, but as he walked away, he couldn't help but feel bitterly disappointed that she was allowing him to leave so easily. Secretly he wanted her to call him back, to tell him what they were doing was a mistake, but he knew that it wasn't. There were reasons they had never before intensified their relationship, and those reasons hadn't disappeared since their return to the ship. What had happened on Quarra had been the mistake, and now the memories of it would serve as a torturous example of what they could have had, if they had met under other circumstances.

And so he left, and she allowed him to leave, and whilst they both knew they would not forget what they had shared on that planet, they also both accepted that they would have to let it go. It would take them time to come to terms with the lives on Quarra they had lost by returning to the lives on Voyager which they had forgotten, but with time to grieve for that loss they both believe they could return to how it had been before. Or at least they hoped so.

_Fin_

_I know it's not a very JC ending, but I tried to imagine how, if they had have written this episode, it would have ended... and this is what came to mind. Thanks for reading._


End file.
